Why I Choose "Respect"
By Guest Blogger Ryan Eades, Special Olympics International
I’ve been on the front lines of Special Olympics’ efforts to eradicate the "R-word" since before it was a campaign with a catchy title, “Spread the Word to End the Word.” As the online brand communications manager at Special Olympics International, I’ve seen or heard just about every argument for and against our efforts to get people to stop using the words “retard” and “retarded.”
In the last two years, I’ve been the primary manager for our Web site (www.r-word.org) and have moderated more than 106,000 online pledges (as of March 9, 2010). On a day-to-day basis, I manage our social media channels on Facebook, You Tube and Twitter. And when Special Olympics responds to a public use of the R-word by a celebrity, politician or other notable pop culture entity, I’m a key contributor on the team that crafts and manages our response.
Despite all that, when Disability.gov asked for a Special Olympics staff member to write a first-hand account of what it's like to work on the campaign, I did not feel I was qualified to provide the best perspective. “Spread the Word to End the Word” is, in fact, a campaign created for and by youth with and without intellectual disabilities. The campaign was created when this group of youth identified one singular action that causes so much unspoken pain – speaking or hearing the word “retard(ed)” – and developed a call to action to pledge to stop using the R-word to show a commitment to making the world a more accepting place for all people.
As I thought about the campaign over the last several years, from the speech Soeren Palumbo delivered to his high school (inspired by his sister Olivia) in February of 2007 to the “Tropic Thunder” protest, and even the thousands of hate-filled pledges that I’ve rejected at www.r-word.org – I realized I, too, had a story to tell that exemplifies not just what it's like to work on the campaign, but what it's like to live the campaign.
When I interviewed at Special Olympics International in 2006, my own language almost cost me the job. Don’t misunderstand me, I didn’t sit through the interview cursing. In fact, I crushed it. I felt great afterwards and was confident I had presented myself in a manner that made me a leading candidate.
After a few days, the woman I interviewed with e-mailed and said she needed me to fill out some basic paperwork. No problem.
Later, it occurred to me that I hadn’t followed up with an e-mail to confirm receipt of my paperwork. So I wrote to my interviewer to ask if she had received the files. Her reply was as follows:
“I did get your paperwork, thank you. However, if you really want to work here, you’re going to have to learn to watch some of the language you use. We should have a decision soon. We’ll be in touch, thanks.”
Huh? All sorts of words raced through my head. At the time, I was a bartender and had the mouth to go with the job. So I scrolled down the e-mail chain to see what I had said, and there it was:
“I just wanted to touch base to confirm you received the documents I emailed a couple days ago. I meant to follow up right away to make sure you got them, but I’m retarded and I forgot. Please let me know if there is anything else you need.”
My jaw dropped as I stared at the screen, and all I could think to myself was, “Oh my God, I just cost myself this job!” I immediately jumped on the phone to apologize. I was assured, despite my faux pas, that I’d hear back when a decision was finalized.
Clearly, I was hired and four years later, I still work for the same boss who interviewed me. I have since learned that my progressively-minded boss decided that instead of shutting the door, she’d bring me in and make me her biggest R-word convert. She succeeded.
From my experience, I learned that I was ignorant to the fact that the R-word is hurtful when used in a derogatory or pejorative manner, or in the casual way that I used it in my e-mail. I learned that words do matter, and that they reflect both who I am and my values. I learned to always put the person before the condition, and that I do not know everything. I also learned that I could do one simple thing–choose to stop saying a word, and make a difference.
So, what is it like to be on the front lines of our “Spread the Word to End the Word” campaign? It's using the lessons I learned to make it easier for others to find the same information and opportunity that I did, so they too can open their hearts and minds. What each person chooses to do with that information and opportunity is up to them.
Ryan Eades is the manager of online brand communications for Special Olympics International. You can email him at reades@specialolympics.org or find him on Twitter @ryan2499.